I’m bad at love.
Let me tell you one thing about myself- I am smart, like really-really smart. I can hold up a good, intellectual conversation, I can teach you or your kids mathematics, science, or programming. I read the news, I’m up-to-date with pop culture gossips and entertainment, I keep track of tech industry. I’m like a pro when it comes to Research and Development.
But.. when it comes to love, I’m the dumbest dumb person you’ve ever met. Stupidest people won’t make the choices that I make, and then after few months, I’m in such a deep shit that I have no idea how can I get hold of my life back. It’s like I know I hate roller coasters, but they seem so fascinating and other people look so happy in it from far away, that I have to try them thinking, this time I won’t mess up. And, I know very well it’s only gonna hurt me and scar me for life. But, I’ll still go and ride them anyway (no pun intended).
If that example was too much for you let me elaborate on another one: Friend: Hey, there’s this guy in my office, he is really nice and sweet, has a job and seems like a mature, responsible person. Would you like to go out with him? Me: What!? What I’m supposed to do with that guy? He seems perfect! What I’m supposed to fix in him? I can’t date a guy unless he is a rude, immature narcissist, compulsive liar. C’mon girl you know my type!
They say I deserve better, but the truth is I don’t know what exactly is better. This is the only love I’ve ever known. So, I keep going back to the same kind of love I think I know, and I think I deserve.
I am doomed, people! I am doomed, for life. *Sigh*